


Ghost of Me

by PleasantlyToasted



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, Bisexual Lance (Voltron), Established Relationship, Gay Keith (Voltron), Hurt, I'm Bad At Tagging, I'm Sorry, Keith/Lance (Voltron) Angst, M/M, i'm suffering, klangst, shiro's alive
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-03
Updated: 2017-04-05
Packaged: 2018-10-14 09:24:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,178
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10533564
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PleasantlyToasted/pseuds/PleasantlyToasted
Summary: The team loses contact with Lance and Keith has to deal with the possible loss of his boyfriend.





	1. Ch 1

**Author's Note:**

> I'M SUFFERING.  
> I wrote this at 3am.

“Lance? LANCE? Please respond,” Keith said frantically into the mic.

Static.

“Lance?” Hunk called out. “Buddy, you there?”

The blue lion’s lights were out. She floated away from them, getting sucked into the nearby planet’s gravitational pull. 

“LANCE,” Shiro yelled.

Static.

Keith was crying. Panic had seized him with it’s nasty claws. Why wasn’t Lance responding?

“Lance…?” Keith said through tears. “Please… respond.”

Static.

“I love you…” Tears streamed down his face. Something was certainly wrong. 

The battle waged on around him, the other paladins screaming into his ears, but he didn’t care. He cared more about Lance. He wasn’t responding, something was wrong. One minute, Lance had been talking. Now, all was silent from his end and Blue wasn’t moving. Her lights were dim. Something was wrong.

“Keith!” He heard Shiro through his com. “Keith, we need you!”

Keith didn’t answer. He just stared blankly at Blue, waiting for her to move, waiting for Lance to respond. 

But he never did.

Coran’s voice carried over his com. “We’ve lost vitals on the Blue Paladin,” he said somberly. “Lance has been killed in action.”

He can’t be gone. The teen Keith loved can’t be gone. The person he vowed to spend his life with, the person who’d let him sleep in his room when he had a nightmare, the person who comforted him when he was down, who defended him, who understood him.

The boy he meet all those years ago at the Garrison. The one he pined for and would rant to Shiro about. Gone. The boy who told him jokes and who had flirted with everything in sight. The boy that always managed to get on his nerves but the one who held a special place in his heart.

“...Lance?” he tried one more time.

Nothing.

He flew towards the Blue Lion and tried to carry her back to the ship. The fact that he was in the middle of a battlefield got in the way of that.

“Someone… help me,” he called out. “Lance, please.” His brain wouldn’t shut up. He knew he should go help the others, but his boyfriend was gone. What was he going to do without him?

Red sent comforting thoughts, but Keith ignored them.

 

After the battle, Shiro carried Blue to her hanger. Keith took Red to hers and when he got out, he was greeted by Coran. Coran wrapped his arms around Keith but Keith didn’t return the sentiment. He was too lost in thought.

“I’m sorry, Keith,” Coran said. “I know how much he meant to you.”

Keith could only nod. He had stopped crying, but the realization would soon hit. Keith stood there dumbly, unable to process what was happening around him. The other paladins and Allura rushed to his side, saying comforting things, but they all ran together in Keith’s mind. He couldn’t make out their words.

Keith pushed past them all and headed to his room. He pushed away Red’s concerned thought. He knew she cared, but he just couldn’t face anyone right now. He could hardly face himself.

Lance was… gone… just like that, all it took was a few seconds to have the love of his life taken away from him.

Pidge tried to run after him, but Keith shooed her away. He needed to be alone. He didn’t want their sympathy right now.

 

Keith didn’t sleep that night. The scene kept replaying in his head. One minute Lance was talking, the next, he was screaming. 

Keith tossed and turned all night in his bed. What could he have done differently? Somehow, he could have saved Lance. He could have done something different. Lance could still be alive.

 

He didn’t go to breakfast in the morning. He wasn’t hungry, anyways. But that didn’t stop Shiro from coming into his room with a plate of food goo.

“Not hungry.”

“You need to eat.”

“No, I don’t.”

“Keith…”

Keith didn’t respond. He didn’t even bother to look at Shiro. Instead, he kept his back turned to him as he laid in bed.

 

They had to bury his body somewhere. Keith fought for them to listen to him and let him be buried on Earth. Besides, they had to tell his family. They deserved to know. However, some argued that there were more important things to do. They put him in a cryopod until they had the chance to bury him.

In the end, Keith won the argument and they wormholed to Earth. Keith stared at it forlornly, the place Lance never got to see again. 

Keith was scared. He knew he’d have to face Lance’s family and wasn’t sure if he could do that. Did they even know that Lance was bi? Would they be surprised to learn that Lance had a boyfriend? Hunk had offered to face Lance’s family instead, but Keith insisted. He needed to meet them, anyways.

Shiro took Lance in the Black Lion. Keith refused to see him. He wanted to remember him as he knew him: alive, breathing. 

Keith took the Red Lion. Hunk had given him Lance’s address, so he knew where to go. When he got to the front door, he hesitated. He was scared. He’d have to tell some people he didn’t even know that their son and brother was dead.

When he knocked on the door, a burly man quickly answered.

“What do you want?” he said grumpily.

“Ummm, Mr. McClain? I have some news for you.” Keith shifted awkwardly on his feet.

“Well? What is it?” the man asked.

“Um… your son… he’s… dead.”

“They found him?” the man’s eyes softened and filled with sadness. “I had a feeling he wasn’t coming home to us when the Garrison told us he was missing. Of course, I prayed he’d return safely, but something in my gut told me I’d never see my son again.” The man wiped tears from his eyes. “You don’t look like them Garrison boys that came over,” he observed. “Are you sure you’re not just playing some prank.”

Keith felt a knot tighten in his stomach. He wished he was playing a prank, but no, this was very real. “Sir… I’m your son’s boyfriend and I saw it happen with my own eyes-” Keith paused to take a deep breath. “He died protecting the people he loved, though. It’s only been a few days, but life without him is hard.”

“I knew my son was a hero,” he said. He paused for a second, then sadly asked, “Can I see him?”


	2. Aftermath

“I remember when he was a kid,” his dad started. “He would always be doing something. Each week there was a different dream job. All throughout his life, that boy never shut up. He always had something to talk about. 

I remember when he came out as trans back in middle school. He was so scared we’d kick him out, but he needed to be true to who he was. I know it took us awhile, but we accepted him as our son. I wish we had sooner. The atmosphere around him just changed when we started calling him our son. He was so much brighter, so happier. I’m proud to be his father and to call him my son.”

Keith nodded along as he spoke. Lance’s father was crying but Keith didn’t know how to comfort him, or if he should even acknowledge it at all. Lance’s mom rested her hand on her husband’s lap. Some of the tension left his shoulders.

“We always felt guilty for not accepting who he was sooner,” his mom said. “We just kept holding onto the idea that he was our daughter, but now we see that he wasn’t. He was our son.” She grabbed a tissue and handed it to her husband, then grabbed one for herself.

“I’m really sorry I couldn’t do more. I’m sorry I couldn’t save him,” Keith rambled. “Sorry it was me who came here and not him.”

“Don’t be sorry, Keith,” Marisol said. “It’s not your fault. And we’re glad someone’s here at least. Having you here is better than wondering where our son is. Though, we’d trade the world to have him here.”

Filiberto and Marisol continued to tell Keith stories of Lance when he was little. Hearing them made Keith’s heart ache, but at the same time, they made him smile. Lance, he learned, had been quite a rebellious child. He began his transition freshman year of high school. His extended family did not approve but Filiberto and Marisol supported him through it.

They invited Keith to the funeral and, of course, he accepted.

They asked about he and Lance meet, when they started dating. They avoided questions about him being in space, about all the dangerous things they went through, about Voltron.

\----

So many people gathered for the mass. Keith had knew that Lance would talk to anyone and that he had a big family, but this was kind of overwhelming for him. He needed to step outside, but he didn’t want to be rude. Next to him, Hunk was balling his eyes out. Even Shiro had started to cry. Coran put his hand on Keith in an attempt to comfort him. He tried to let himself relax, but he just couldn’t.

The mass service was very formal and didn’t feel like Lance at all. He knew it was customary, but Keith knew Lance would have hated to sit still for so long.  
Keith stared around him. He wondered if this was the church that Lance attended before he left for the Garrison. Was Lance religious? They never really talked about religion. He knew his family was, but Lance had never mentioned that he was.

 

“Thank you for attending, Keith,” Marisol said.

“Of course.”

“We really appreciate all you’ve done. Thank you for taking care of our son, for being there for him. Please, don’t beat yourself up. We know you did all you could to save him.”

“I’ll try my best not to.” Keith knew that was a lie. He was going to beat himself up over it.

Coran pulled him aside and gave him a letter. “It was from Lance,” he explained. “Told me to give it to you if anything ever happened to him.” Keith accepted it, but he never wanted to read it. He couldn’t begin to imagine what was written and how it would tear him to shreds.

\----

The team was needed around the universe. They were a symbol of peace and prosperity. They were heavily involved with the creation of peace treaties. Keith kind of missed the fighting. That had been easier than settling all these petty disputes.

Though it kept him busy, kept him distracted. 

Everyone else seemed happy. Especially Pidge; they found their family. The war was over. The Galra empire was crumbling. A peace treaty was in the works. Things seemed to be going well for everyone.

And then there was Keith.

They say time heals all wound, but Lance left a gaping wound that won’t heal- no matter how much time has passed. He can remember it like it was yesterday.

How the world seemed to stop. He could hear his own heartbeat. The sounds of fighting were blocked out as Keith waiting for Lance’s voice to ring through his communicator. But it never did.

Keith missed him. He missed stargazing together, sitting on Lance’s bed and just listening to him breathe, them talking about what they’d do together one day. His ‘I love yous’, his smiles, his eyes. He missed teasing him, listening to his laugh, listening to his rambles and, in turn, Lance listening to his.

He wished that he had told Lance that he loved him more. 

He finally pulled out the letter. His hands shook as he opened it.

 

\-------  
Keith,

I hope you never have to read this letter. If Coran gives this to you, it means something has happened to me. I hope you’ll never have to read it, but you never know. 

I planned to just write what I feel.

First of all, I love you. You probably already knew that, but it’s just a reminder. I care about you so much. You mean the world to me. You really do.

I love everything about you. Your laugh, your eyes, your dumb jacket, your sense of humor (or lack thereof), and even your dumb mullet.

I can’t even imagine my world without you. It’d be much more bleak.

I’m so happy to know you and be able to call you my boyfriend. Even you I acted like I hated you, I never did. I was just jealous. You seem to do everything so flawlessly.

Please, if I’m gone, I want you to still be able to be happy. I want you to live on for the both of us. I want you to remember all our good times together. Like sitting under the stars, or fighting battles side by side, or just chilling in our rooms.

Please, always remember me. I’m scared of being forgotten.

 

All my love,  
Lance


End file.
